When it comes to sex, men and women exercise judgment differently. Those who seek romance are actually aiming for joy and happiness. Few experiences in life can send us soaring into the sky or crashing into the ground like sex and romance. But differences are valuable. And understanding those differences in a positive light helps people understand each other.
My life in sex: ‘I both long for romance and dread it’
A same-sex romance in Lucknow
Scholar Ruth Vanita on the making of her first novel, a love story between two women in 18th century Lucknow. Nafis and Chapla are residents of a kotha in Lucknow, visited by patrons as much for the allure of its residents as for the rich culture of poetry, music and dance that flourishes within it. Shot through with bursts of poetry, intrigue and the rumble of political turmoil as the nawabi era declines and the British Raj grows stronger, the novel is a delightful read—paced like a Bollywood romance, alive with the sounds and sights of a syncretic India that has become rarefied. Edited excerpts:. That world and some of its characters captured my imagination when I read a lot of writings from and about it for my book, Gender, Sex And The City. This culture was a scintillating example of pre-colonial Indian modern urban life—a modernity very different from our own yet also similar in its preoccupations; for example, glamour, fashion, shopping, curiosity about unusual people, places and relationships. I had a love story to tell and it came to flower in this world that I had mentally inhabited for quite a while.
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